Malls in the Philippines

In the Philippines, everything is bigger and scarier. Whenever I see someone scared of a baby daddy-long legs spider here I shake my head in shame. I just feel like flying them to a small barangay in the Philippine mountains and leaving them there to sleep with hot-dog-sized millipedes and my Tita Pikoy.

Malls in the Philippines are also pretty big. If Wal-mart, Costco, and a Philippine mall were in the same room, that room would be INSIDE a Philippine mall. A typical mall in the Philippines has a large movie theater at the top floor (which takes up about 10 more floors), followed by a “floor of fun” where all you’ll find are games, arcades, and unicorns, and finally rows and rows of stores and restaurants. Some malls in capital cities even have amusement parks inside them. If you’re the kind of person who likes big buildings full of more buildings, buy a ticket to the Philippines and never come back. Actually come back and bring me some fake Jordans.