My beef (or pork) with spain

This is Maria y Pau, two cool Spanish folks from, well, Spain. Since Filipinos we’re named after and colonized by A spanish king, I asked them to apologize in his behalf. They looked at me weird so I just asked them to get me some jamón and help me find a new name for the islands and the Filipino people.

I first wanted to come up with something catchy, like “Super Race,” or “Brown Supremacists,” but Pau didn’t think it would bode well with the rest of the world. I agreed. So I tried more humbler names like “We’re cool, but not too cool to hang out with other races” race, or the “Love-anos.”

After a while Maria told me that Spain itself was named by a bunch of Romans dancing around in togas. Either that or she seduced me with a flamenco performance. I think she did both at the same time. After we went our separate ways, I realized (warning: corny part) that the term “Filipino” is part of our culture and identity, and that it symbolizes our history; which should be embraced instead of forgotten and shared instead of stigmatized. And like all other nations and people, over time it isn’t all about the name’s history, but what we make of the people behind the name in the future that is important.

Then again, if we want to go even deeper into history, it might be possible to call ourselves Malay. Going back even more, we’re basically all African. Research even further, … oh fuck it.