GOOOAAAAALLL!

Costa Rica’s goalie Jose Porras was sweating like a pig before a Filipino fiesta as Germany’s Miroslav Klose celebrated his birthday today by kicking balls at Porras’ face. Somebody give this man a San Miguel!

From June 9 to July 9 people around the world will be glued to their TV screens to watch what I believe is bigger than the Olympics and Santa Claus. No, not Girls gone Wild 2006, the World Cup.

Unlike those sports announcers with toupees and those football pundits with their suits and fruity ties, my predictions will actually come true. First off, England will lose to Paraguay tomorrow because Beckham is married to a Spice Girl. So what if they’ve been married for 15 World Cups in a row, this time I swear they’ll lose. Lastly, I believe the last two teams who’ll reach the final game will be Germany and the Philippines. Ok, the Philippines isn’t in the World Cup, but I predict a bad case of athletes foot will hit one of the World Cup teams late June, possibly the Japanese, which will automatically call for 23 Filipinos to take their place. Don’t ask me, it’s in the World Cup constitution. The Philippines will win, 34 to -5.

Links:
-The World Cup schedule (US east coast times).
-Can a goalie actually score from the other side of the field? Yes, yes they can.