A Filipino family tested by an obsolete world

April 3, 2009

Jay Mercado and Shirley Tan have been together for 23 years and have twin 12-year-old boys. But in the eyes of American law, Shirley Tan must be deported back to the Philippines, mainly because her marriage with US citizen Jay Mercado is invalid. Why? Because Jay is female.

“If Mercado, a U.S. citizen, were a man, she could sponsor Tan for legal permanent residency, their lawyer said. But because federal law limits the definition of marriage to a man and a woman, the couple has no such option.”

They are casualties in our world’s ongoing conflict between traditional sentiment and civil rights, and living testaments to a family’s tenacity during hard times. Whether immigrant or citizen, we know full well that a family regardless of culture, race, or even a parent’s sexual orientation, must always try to stay together.

What I really wanted to know was what they were going to do if she would be deported and I wasn’t surprised to find that they would move to the Philippines together. A few months ago a family I know decided to move to the Philippines when it was found that my uncle had to be deported. Family transcends nationality, economics, and in this case, ‘gender.’

Despite Shirley’s reasons upon leaving the Philippines in 1989, we can only hope that whether they live in the Philippines or stay in the United States, they will be seen as great examples of a cohesive family today and pioneers by our grand children in the near future.