How to deal with your dark side

You know that feeling you get when you’re driving down a one lane highway and someone in a Honda Del Sol comes up real close behind you, tailgating you for miles? That feeling is from the dark side.

And that feeling you get when you’re late for work and you find that your Kuya Bukangkoy didn’t do the laundry, leaving you stuck choosing either the tight-fitting slacks or the dockers with the champorado stain on it and you walk out to find that your tires were slashed realizing that the tight-fitting slacks you chose to wear accentuate the roundness of your butt cheeks? That too is the dark side.

The next time you get tailgated on that lone stretch of highway, break to a stop blocking both lanes and just sit there staring blankly. When the driver stops cussing and drives off, follow him closely. Follow him very, very closely.

And when you’re late for work and you have to choose between the pants Prince gave you or the pair with the tae stain on it, don’t go to work. Especially if your tires are slashed. If your boss gives you grief about it the next day just stand there staring blankly. When your boss stops cussing and walks off, follow him closely. Follow him very, very closely… and stab him.

You see, sometimes you have to give in to your dark side. Because you never know, you might just get too used to being someone’s bitch.

May the force be with you. And also with you. Amen.

Star Wars links:

• If you see a Honda Del Sol like this tailgating you, laugh and point.