The secret to success
Sorry I just watched the Oprah Winfrey show. For a post title, I could have used, “Live life to the fullest,” or “Seize the day you unique and beautiful-in-your-own-way person you.” Instead I used “The secret to success” because although some of the greatest people who ever walked the planet knew it, people who were not so great or were below average greatness didn’t know about this secret… until now (enter inspirational children’s choir music or Halo’s intro music playing. Or any Eric Clapton song before 1985).
Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Plato, Homer, Homer Simpson, Gandhi, Ricky Martin, your Lola Pining, and of course, myself, have known about this “secret” for a long time but it wasn’t until this millennium that a group of cheesy motivational speakers got together and shared this common idea to help others; via their DVD you have to buy of course. I myself however, being one of the greatest people that ever graced the face of this world and earth, will share with you this secret for free. So what is this secret? Allow me to type more unrelated bullcrap before I give you the answer.
First, the setup: You’re going through some pretty tough times. I am too. And like me you know that you’re not the only one in the world with problems, but most of the time, your problem is the biggest of all because you’re the one going through it. You are alone. In the heat of emotion (anger, sadness, jealousy, etc) your suffering is the worst suffering. But these emotions aren’t created by the “world,” or your spouse, or your boss, or your Kuya Dong, or your looks, or pollution, or your lack of money, food, or shelter… they’re created by the brain cells in your head. So how do you end this endless cycle of happy-sad-happy-sad? If all suffering is relative, or the same, that probably means that there is also one common answer to all suffering. If all suffering is in the mind, then the answer to suffering could probably be in the mind too.
Phew, with all that said, what’s the secret? Brain mucus. The secret is brain mucus. Now go forth into the world and take it by the nuts and shake them like you’ve never shook nuts before. Because im pretty sure you’ve never grabbed someone’s nuts before and then shook them.